Research, Blogs, and Pictures

I read blogs, did research, found a doctor in my area and started my preparations with the little knowledge I had. I mean, I’ve been around babies and kids, I love them all; I just wasn’t prepared to be a mom, just yet. So here’s my research and maybe some answers for you!

I live(d) on Pinterest and browsed through all the cute outfits, fun things to do as mom and dad, but I also started reading blogs…terrible blogs…maybe like this one. But blogs that I thought Why the flying F*$% did YOU write a blog about children. A blog like “What you should do BEFORE having a child”. 

This blog told you things like make sure you don’t put your electrical appliances near the bath water, your pets are friendly, and house is baby proof. Well… REALLY… you mean you’re not supposed to put the toaster in the bath tub… MAYBE just MAYBE you should have a wrote a blog called I am the reason there are SO MANY warning labels. So, I quit reading blogs… for awhile.

I stuck with my What To Expect when your Expecting, parenthood magazines, and information from the doctor and hospital. Until one day I was being curious and read blogs about “what they don’t tell you”… WTF was I thinking?!

I read a blog about the ABSOLUTE WORST child bearing experience and recovery a person could EVER go through and went back to ‘how the hell am I going to do this’ mind set. So I texted mom because she would know the medical terms I did not.

December 9, 2012

Me: What’s perennial?

Mom: If your talking about plants it means they come back at least 2 seasons like the ones I plant
Annual means only one season

no thats not the word! perinial…something about I will have pernial pains. peraniel? idk : /
something about my va-jay-jay

you’re an idiot ; p
perianal. pain in your perianal region

why am I am idiot? I can’t spell and it just keeps coming up everywhere like I’m supposed to know about this… what the hell is booty hole? or snatch?

both rofl

is that where they stitch you up?


ok am I really going to get heimeroids?

can you work on not making me pee my pants

hemroids?…do I need preparation h?
you’re not hleping me

your killing me

this shits not funny

no you may not get hemorrhoids, it is possible
i just wet the couch rofl

I read a blog yesterday and it made me wanna throw in the towel now and she said she got perianal bleeding and didn’t fully recover until after 3 months and hemroids, and ducalax.YUCKKK
and she had a chart of lochi??? colors that were like tellow to red and she said I needed maternity panties
and that I may pee my pants or never pee at all…this sounds terrible.

yes, there is a lot of bad that is possible but be positive. quit reading bs blogs

can i just have a speedy recovery and no C section, tho it may make my recovery “period” longer, I don’t want a scar, stitches, or anyone digging in my uterus.

yes, that is how its normally done

And that was the end of blogs for me! Then after re-reading our messages to Robert I found myself laughing at my own stupidity and decided to write a blog.


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