Let the Countdown Begin Week 38

Last few weeks of pregnancy, eh? How is that going for you? Have you turned into cleaning mom, super women, baby blues, a beached whale, stressed out, feeling great, crying a lot???? Maybe all of the above because you have no idea what to feel anymore and people have become certainly annoying with their stupid questions, comments, and ‘concerns’??? Well lets talk about them and if you’re reading along while not being pregnant… let’s make you a good pregnancy companion!

I don’t know how many times I had to tell the same people my due date, if it was a boy or girl, how things were going … yadda yadda yadda. But I knew they asked because they had some care or concern. But what about the assholes… you know the assholes coworkers or your asshole regulars or maybe even your asshole family and friends?? What about them? How degrading and personal can you get with a pregnant person before she isn’t ‘hormonal’ anymore and you’re just the asshole? Yea you… the one talking about how huge she is, how shes not going to make it to her due date, how she needs to just have the kid already, or how you don’t understand how shes still pregnant? oh or why shes going to try natural labor, breastfeeding, and still at work?
Well let’s start with why I’m still at work, yes still, I am post due and I am picking up shifts. If no one has ever told you or anyone else a child tacks on some heavy duty bills and as much help as the state will give you it is never going to be enough. Between rent, electric, water, sewage, food, the little things in life, and all your previous credit card and other debt… adding a baby isn’t easy. So yes, pregnant people still work. And it hurts, makes us tired, stresses us out, but we still have bills to pay and not all of us have million dollar husbands or families. And I wouldn’t want it any other way. Also, I enjoy work. Have people ever thought of that??? I enjoy going in and meeting new people, making possible new friends, hearing stories of their kids, and being able to have conversations that don’t include a wall, a dog, or myself as the thing listening to me. Sitting at home while your pregnant sounds nice, it really does, but actually doing it can drive you bat shit crazy. And I don’t know how people cant understand this… With Why are you still working? Why don’t you just go home and have the baby? Why does Robert allow you to work? so let’s clear some shit up now. I work to make money and because I enjoy it, I don’t go home and have this baby because well THATS NOT HOW IT WORKS… well talk more about this next, and Robert doesn’t allow me to work, he doesn’t allow me to do anything except vacuum because he has to carry it up and down the stairs… and he’s not stupid he knows I need out of the house and we need the extra cash.
What about the ‘you’re still pregnant’ remarks. Oh my god, You’re still pregnant, you still haven’t had the baby, you’re so huge, go have her I want to meet her, Im anxious…. oh shut the hell up already… all of you. Nothing is more degrading to a pregnant women then how overdue and huge she really is and why you, a bystander, have all the right answers.
This is where I’m going to see a bit ‘hormonal’ but believe me it’s really that you’re a complete idiot with no common courtesy. Let’s check the facts first,
a.) most first pregnancy’s go into post date, meaning approx. 85% of all first pregnancy’s go passed their due date
b.) a due date is a made up date in which your last period and the rate in which the ultrasound says your baby is growing
c.) my doctor knows much more about my cervix and my vagina then you ever will
d.) Pregnancy can last up to 42 weeks without a doctors concern after that the doctor and patient, meaning me the mom, not you will choose what is best for mom and baby
e.) its not my choice to be overdue, but obviously the baby isn’t ready and as long as she is healthy, I’m not going to force her out. Induction isn’t supposed to be used before 40 weeks and for those who used it before that, we can debate later
So asshole, I haven’t had this baby because she was breech and then she moved and then she scooted back up and then she stayed there. She’s not ready, my cervix isn’t ready, and if you’re real curious I haven’t dilated 1 tiny fucking cm… ok?! So if you think you’re all high and mighty and know when Im going to have this baby, maybe you should go get your degree, Okay Dr Phil? and then after you do that go join Dr. Oz and all three of you can have a show about psyche, losing wight and having babies.
And YES for God’s sake Im STILL PREGNANT… Do you see my belly, do you? Or are you a complete idiot and just like my witty comments. You’re still pregnant… Nope baby’s at home and I decided to wear a fat suit for now on… As Jeff Foxworthy would say, here’s your sign! And maybe people ask this question, because they don’t know what to say… well here are some fine options:
a.) Aww, you look great today, you can see the pregnancy glow from across the room
b.) That is a very cute dress/outfit/shoes/ect
c.) I applaud that you are still working, I wish more people were like you
d.) I’m happy to see you’re pregnancy going so well
e.) anything other than “wow, you’re still pregnant” is great!

I also dislike people telling me how anxious they are and they just wish I would have the baby already. Oh really are you? You’re anxious? Im pretty sure Im the one who has been pregnant, not you. And Im not at all that anxious to push this baby out of my tiny, little va jay jay… I’ll be excited when I have my baby and get to see her and hold her. But I’m not anxious. So tellin me you’re anxious, pretty much just annoys me. And I know the family is anxious, so I’m not saying your all assholes. Im just saying watch how you say things and how often you say things. Shooting me a text like hey, thinking about you, getting anxious to see the wee one… Is much nicer then seeing the same text ‘Im anxious have the baby already would you’ or talking to the same person about the same bullshit everyday, because truthfully if you’re not “family” I don’t really give a shit how you feel about my pregnancy. (i use family in ” ” because most of my family are not blood related, but they know who they are)
And for all your arrogant people out there who are like wow, this girl’s a real bitch or really hormonal… I’m not. I am kind of a bitch, but Im not hormonal, Im being truthful and if you cant see it lets put it into perspective. Pregnant woman have so much going on in their lives, especially in the last few weeks and 90% of what they are preparing for is the unknown. It’s like going to hike a new mountain that you have all the information but all the information says “everyone’s experience is different, this is just general information”. Its stressful and exciting and scary and happy and sad and all of that rolled into one. And the last thing they need is for you, whoever you are, be you the best friend, the mom, the in law, the customer, the regular, the co-worker, the boss, the friend, the acquaintance, the random person in the store… telling her what she needs to do, how big she is, or how your/your wifes/sisters/bestfriends pregnancy was. What if every time you went up to her she was like, “Oh, is your marriage failing STILL?” “You haven’t fixed your life YET?” ” You’re son is STILL an asshole?” “You’re STILL fixing up your house?” “You STILL haven’t found a job?””My dad lost his job and bought my mom nice things, why can’t you do that for your wife?” “I really don’t know much about you but maybe you should change your doctor because when I hurt my hand my doctor…. bleh bleh bleh” “I know were not in the ‘same situation’ but one time when I was stressed out, I just did yoga, you should try yoga” “You know I can’t wait until you lose weight so we can go out and do things again” and when you’re having a great day, I hope she comes up to you and says “You seem miserable, why don’t you go home and relax?”
And after she says such personally demeaning things to you, I want you to smile and laugh it off, just like we have to because if we don’t, its blamed on hormones and not your assholish tendencies of forgetting to keep your mouth shut…. get it now???? Your momma taught you how to think before you speak and if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say it at all….time to use what your momma told you!

And last but not least, I’m not huge. I’m pregnant. I have a baby who is approx. 6-8 lbs growing inside me. On top of that, I have 2x the amount of blood in my body, 20% more water, a sac of fluid that weighs about 5 lbs which is covered by my growing uterus that weighs approx 2-5 lbs, my breasts are producing milk and fatty tissue to aid in breastfeeding, some fat is being stored for energy during delivery, oh yea and the placenta that is nurturing my baby weighs about 3 lbs. So you wanna know how much weight I’ve actually gained because Im sooooooooo big…. oh around twenty to thirty GO F*#& YOURSELF pounds. But next time you pack on a few pounds, I’ll be sure to let you know! 😳

So besides all the ignorant people of the world, how are these last few weeks going… well great! Her nursery is finally set up and its the cutest room in the house, the fridge is stocked with food and quick meals and ice cream bars, the house is clean, my bags are packed, and I feel great. I do my yoga every night and I prepare the house a little more each day, and some days I just lay with my pup and talk to him about his new little sister.
I did have a crying break down over dinner one night, but I knew that was just a hormonal craze I would have to get thru. But my loving boyfriend, picked me up off the floor and held me telling me everything was going to be fine and as I told him how much of a baby back bitch I was he went in the kitchen and made me dinner. And now I am a week overdue, so with an extra ultrasound this week, no cervix softening, no dilation, and very few contractions, the doctor thinks induction at 41 weeks is best, so we went out last night for dinner to a little fancy restaurant for the last time as a couple without child. And it was great getting my LBD on, doing my hair and make up and throwin on a pair of heels… for the last time as a preggar! Dinner was fun, walking around downtown was fun, watching a rented movie eating chocolate eclairs was relaxing and now next time you hear from me, I will be mom of Baby Brooklyn come Monday and I will tell you all about the induction, labor and delivery process. No horror stories just cold hard witty facts and comments about the natural process of child birth. And I’m so freaking excited you wouldn’t believe! TTFN as Tigger says! Ta Ta For Now my friends, talk to you soon!


The last Month Countdown

Oh the last month has been quite phenomenal with the birthing classes, moving, peeing my pants at least once, packing, baby shower and yes i did finally cut my hours at work. I guess we can start with the classes, no one is going to be able to tell you how to have your baby, when your baby is truly going to arrive, and how your body reacts to it, but for more information on process and techniques used in labor and delivery, we decided to take a Prepared Child Birth class. It has shown us natural delivery, delivery with some medication, and C-Sections. It also has shown us relaxation techniques and ways to use everyday items, such as tennis balls, to help with pain. My class tho, seem like a bunch of idiots. I had 6 weeks to go our first day, and everyone else a month to 4 months to go. It seemed like not one of them had picked up a book to know one thing about the process of pregnancy. And theres a few who are so disgusted with the simple thought of delivery they close their eyes and gag when we talk about it… maybe it wasn’t the right time for you to get pregnant… maybe you should have read first about it. Why would you want to be so unprepared for something that you have no control over happening?! And these same simple minded idiots then discussing that they want every drug in the book so they don’t experience the pain, I wonder if they have thought these things thru, how it affects your unborn child who is 1/20th your pre-pregnancy size. I know for myself narcotics make me extremely nauseated, tired, and unable to handle most situations… nothing I would want a child to undergo. Epidurals are much better not truly effecting the child, but could effect breastfeeding. Which for some is very important. and Could give you a UTI bc of the use of a catheter, I’d break my arm twice before I thought about getting another UTI, especially since pregnancy has shown me a whole different pain from UTIs. I’m not saying I’m going without or people who use drugs are weak, I’m just saying I’m going to try going as long as possible without an epidural, hoping I will not get one and narcotics are out of the question. I couldn’t think of walking into the delivery room and just sitting there doped up on whatever they’ll give me. so I guess thats all I have to say about classes, I find them extremely informative and good for the money you spend on them.
So did you hear about practicing your kegals and strengthening your lady parts to help with delivery and any incontinence that pregnancy may give you? haha Except when your slipping in the parking garage while singing… yea, that’s right! I was on my way to class walking thru the parking garage with Robert, who has his hands full of blankets and pillows and myself caring my bag of a purse and two McCafe coffees. And I was singing “your song” from Moulin Rouge… obviously because parking garages have great acoustics. And while I took my last few steps out of the parking garage, I stepped on the little yellow OUT arrow and suddenly fell to my knee. Surprising me but as I was in the splits on the ground, not able to get up because I had no hands to use and Robert not being able to help bc of his full hands, I couldn’t help but laugh and try explaining what happened… oh pee happened. you know not like a full gush of pee, just like a tinkle which made me laugh harder, causing worse conditions for both of us. My pants and feet were all dirty and I couldn’t quit laughing. So when I went to class I emptied my lovely bladder, that was obviously too full for laughing and thought God, I have to blog about this! Pregnant people falling is not funny, so if you actually hurt yourself tell your doctor, Thankfully in my situation I was fine.
Last week, 37 weeks, the doctor has started the cervical checks to see if the baby was in position, any dilation was happening… you know all that fun stuff and come to find out Ms. Brooklyn is breech, laying on my right side looking at my left. Transverse Breech, which is not good for birth and will not be happening naturally. I have spent this last week hanging off the couch upside down, pushing her to the left, laying on my left side and any other ridiculous thing midwives say on the internet to make your baby move. So we go back tomorrow to see if shes moved. cross your fingers!
We had our shower, it was great! Saw a bunch of people from back home I haven’t seen in a long time and we received a bunch of amazing gifts. Mom has all the pictures or I would share. And we move tomorrow to our new place, so I will be back to tell you more exciting things!!!

Meeting your match

Meetin your match when it comes to work rest and nutrition. I’ve been doing pretty well, I’m coping with not sleeping, I eat what I can in the morning, and I’m still working my 10:30-6, 5 days a week. I can’t say it’s easy but I spend Sunday and Monday in bed or on the couch most of the time. Oh but Saturday was a different story, I didn’t sleep all night, toss and turn, I didn’t eat well throughout the week, noticing yesterday I was lacking on my protein intake the last week, and I had to be up for work in… oh 3 hrs (staring at the clock at 7am), I even moved to the couch to see if I could fall asleep there.
I did my normal routine of getting up showering putting myself together, taking the dog out and eating breakfast, a lovely meal combined of cereal and juice. I wasn’t feeling the greatest, my mind a few clicks behind my body but that’s what no sleep does to a person, esp a pregnant person, so I went on with my day opening the bar. I had a couple sit down for drinks and Lunch, it was BOGO entree day for a Mothers Day weekend special. And was feeling fine, made there drinks, put there food orders in and then the exhaustion set in while one of my all time regulars walked in. We made small talk and he asked for an Absolut Bomb, no Bomb tho and as he said it I could feel my body shutting down, scary but I was conscious of it, so I took a few steps back, held up the one sec finger and walked away… to my GMs office, she’s lovely btw, as I said I’m going to pass out but Jimmy needs an Absolut on the Rocks and I lowered myself to the ground, which she put me on a chair instead. Things seemed white around me, like that second you spent too much time on the treadmill and your body is like ohhh no, I’m done!
But once I sat down I felt ok, A little shaky but extremely hot. So my GM forces water, juice, and a cold towel at me as I sit there angry bc I would like to stay at work for 5 more weeks, but looks as if my body is saying no.
We then talk about maybe cutting my hours or calling someone in for the day, but my stubborn ass says no, unless it happens again. But I agreed to do no lifting at all and kept the juice and water flowing while eating anything I could… lemon bread, a donut, French fries….
By the time I decided to get up and walk back to my bar, Genna had my regulars beered up, my couple was done with lunch, I swear only 10 or 20 minutes had passed, and jimmy was gone but coming back in a few.
So I started my day over I had everyone a bit worried and more helpful than ever. Not really fond of that, I’m not one to ask for help nor do I feel that I should use people since I am the reason I’m still at work, but it did help.
I didn’t feel great for the rest of the day, but I made it to 6 without passing out, Jimmy came back and I made his drink without running away, and then I went to Portillo’s grabbed a beef and cheddar and a Chocolate Shake, went home and slept until 8 the next morning. ahhhh, sleep.
So Sunday I went to the grocery store, stocked up on yogurt, Pre-made Chai Protein from Bolthouse, and Breakfast Essentials Protein mix for my milk in the mornings. Like I said, I want to be at work 5 more weeks, well 4 more weeks now, I have 6 weeks to go with pregnancy and I can’t sit at home all day, it’ll drive me crazy. So packing on the protein and calories in the morning it is because this little baby Brooklyn is sucking the life out of me little by little.

Hormonal Today

Hitting the hormonal section of pregnancy, guess it’s time. I’m tired, my feet hurt, I didn’t work much this week and I got a lot done but today I went back to work for a normal 8 hrs shift and felt as if my anxiety was crazy high and my temperament for people is at an all time low. I just think my mind is on high speed and my body is slowing down, telling me it’s time for rest. 10 more weeks, just 10 more weeks…. but this is how today felt…
(copied and edited text to mom)
I didn’t sleep long enough and I feel like the morning came to quickly and I had to be at work an hr earlier which screwed up my time basis. and I didn’t want to go to work this morning, that’s not normal. I left a little late bc I didn’t want to go. I couldn’t find my clock in card, to only find it in the wrong pocket of my purse, making me feel a bit more crazy. and then I couldn’t finish anything today, id start one thing then have to do something else and our beer truck didn’t come today so we didn’t have anything to stock and that stresses me out, though i know i cant do anything about it. and as I was trying to leave the servers and all like “wah, your being crazy pregnant today” and my customers are like “bleh, can’t think straight cuz your pregnant” and I just wanna be like “fuck off I don’t bitch when you have an off day”. then I find out I am opening the restaurant tomorrow at 8am which isn’t really a big deal, but that I didn’t notice it on the schedule, stresses me out bc i don’t not know my schedule….ever. idk??? I just want to crawl in my bed.

I need to go get my nails done but just don’t want to leave the chair in my living room, chocolate, a bubble bath, maybe some yoga…maybe something will get my stress down and my anxiety to slow. But until then I just feel crazy and irrational.

Oh the changes…

Don’t read this if you don’t wanna know more terror… lol

So hello, it’s been so long…working a lot lately. So what have you been going through lately… We’ve hit the 3rd Trimester this week! Less Energy for you, More Baby Activity, what about your lovely ta-tas, how are they holding on? Mine are growing a lb a day it seems and nothing seems to help, the new bras, the sports bra, the top with a bra built in…and have you looked into buying Nursing Pads yet? oh wait, but we’re not nursing, get ready for it… you may start “leaking” before the baby comes and from what I’ve heard from my girlfriends…. its just about to get worse after the baby. Pregnancy seems to be a leaky leaky situation. And your nose is stuffy and your brain…well that is gone…

I don’t feel as if I can keep up with work anymore, I go brain dead mid-sentence half the time or while I’m trying to ring something into the computer, I just stare at the screen until I remember again…Oh and what about remembering things and writing them down correctly, that skill has too left me. But I love work so I’m not leaving anytime soon, they may just have to kick me out!

Even tho I have less energy, I have been keeping up with my fit-ness if you will! Downloading Pre-Natal Yoga, Pilates, and Fitness videos. Yoga is exhausting just to let you know, I never knew Downward Facing Dog could be so hard. And don’t download or try videos in which the “instructor” is not pregnant, it makes you hate them (and that’s irrational). 

I have found that in my previous post.. you know the lovely UTI one… CAN and did get worse… back to the doctor I went last week and the doctor laughed and said Yes, you have these cells and high count in these cells and it looks like kidney stones maybe. “Awesome.” was my response. So it was back to the antibiotics, which I’m still on and more water. Which neither go nicely with a baby dancing on your bladder and every other organ you once enjoyed.

And How’s your baby doing? Is it a he or she? Is she dancing around in your belly and maybe sticking her foot in your rib cage just because she fits there. Or maybe she’s flipping around over and over and you just see your stomach wave about, like a scene from Alien??! If you’re anything like me, you find it extremely uncomfortable but totally enjoyable to feel and watch. 

And How are your dreams… or wait are you sleeping? Low Energy, No Rest, No Sleeping, and if you do get sleep it leads to crazy dreams…. wait what?! Exactly, your days of sleeping are over, the tossing and turning has started or maybe you have to pee every…hour or so, and you probably have made it an igloo inside your room just so your comfortable temperature wise. 

So changes eh… have fun! you’re pregnant!